Season 4 Episode 11: In Carol We Trust

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We are getting to the point in Growing Pains where I have pretty high recall for episode plots, and I have to tell you that this episode used to be one of my favourites!

To kick us off, Mike wants to borrow gas money but he gets a big fat no because Maggie and Jason cannot at all trust that he’s going to use the money for what he says it’s for. On the other hand, Carol just wants to go to the library to study and they offer to let her take the car and hand her gas money “just in case”. Mike is aghast. Carol is high and mighty. This is the current Seaver family dynamic, in which we see the great divide between Maggie and Jason’s trust in Carol vs. Mike, and which we will watch slowly erode over the course of this episode.

With money and trust in hand, Carol heads off to the college library where she encounters Matthew Perry, pre-Friends, playing the part of Sandy. Sandy goes to Alf Landon college, which is why he’s studying at the college library and why he assumes Carol’s also a college student. We all know Carol is still a Dewey High Hooter but, not wanting to be seen as too young for him, she tells Sandy she goes to NYU. Sandy invites Carol out for a beer and she can’t resist the charm he’s displayed during their (maybe) two minute conversation, so she agrees to go out with him right then and there. Underage drinking. Claiming she’s a college student. The lies are already starting to pile up for Carol.

And they’re about to pile up even higher, because Carol’s impromptu date with Sandy keeps her out way beyond her curfew, and she got a speeding ticket on the way home.  How will she explain all this? Carol knows Maggie and Jason are going to freak out, so she heads straight to Mike’s apartment to get his advice on how to handle the situation. Mike off-handedly tells Carol it doesn’t matter what she tells Maggie and Jason because they’ll believe anything she says. Like, for instance, she could tell them she’s late because of a herd of cattle and they’d buy it hook, line and sinker.

Carol thinks this is preposterous and plans to tell her parents the truth, but then panics the second they start questioning her. She blurts out the first excuse that comes to mind which is, you guessed it, that she got caught on the highway when a herd of cattle got loose. Mike was right, because they buy it!  Ah, how simple things could be before the age of the internet and smart phones.  Maggie and Jason’s trust in Carol knows no bounds…for now.

The only problem is that Carol’s web of lies means that she has to sneak around to see Sandy again. In fact, the very next day she calls Sandy and invites him over later that evening because her parents will be out. Sneaky, Carol. Very sneaky. She even dodges a major bullet when she leaves the beer bar napkin with Sandy’s number on it right by the phone. Jason assumes it’s Mike who’s hanging out at bars and meeting girls named Sandy. You have to love how a good genderless name can lead to such assumptions.  Does Carol think to cut her losses when she realizes she narrowly escaped getting caught? Nope. She keeps on scheming and lying like a champ.

When Sandy arrives, Carol decides all the lying is worth it, and things are getting pretty hot and heavy between the two of them when they’re interrupted by the sound of Maggie and Jason outside. They’re home early! As it turns out, Jason’s car broke down so Carol and Sandy’s night is over and also she needs to get Sandy out of there ASAP.  Carol ushers Sandy into the kitchen, and Sandy of course does not at all understand what the big deal is that her parents are home so Carol has to lie yet again. She tells Sandy her dad is a psycho with a gun, and you better bet that gets Sandy moving faster. You’d think Carol would be a bit more concerned that Sandy might never want to see her again because who wants to date a girl with a crazy dad, but I guess getting caught was a much more pressing issue for Carol at the time.

Try as they might, Sandy can’t seem to actually escape from the house. He’s trapped under the kitchen island while Jason rants and raves about the mechanic that tried to pull the wool over his eyes, and at this point he legit sounds and looks a little bit crazy. Sandy appears to be genuinely concerned for his safety, and Carol’s trying to do everything in her power to get her parents out of the kitchen before they see Sandy.  But it’s too late. When Jason bends over to pick something up, he sees Sandy and freaks out, then Sandy freaks out and high tails it out the door. Carol’s about to be in a world of trouble, and also it seems highly unlikely that Sandy will ever see her again. After that type of experience, I wouldn’t blame him.

In the wake of all these lies, Carol gets grounded for a solid three weeks. She’s complaining to Mike about it and he aptly points out that it sounds fair because she was the one kid Maggie and Jason could trust, so breaking that trust is a really, really big deal.  Carol hadn’t looked at it that way, and suddenly realizes just how awful it was that she took her parents’ trust for granted, which she promptly tells them and then also tells them that she totally agrees that her three-week grounding is fair. Which no teenager would admit to. Ever.

At the end of this episode, I’m left wondering:

  • Where was Julie in this episode? What’s with Growing Pains just dropping storylines completely?
  • How long will it take for Sandy to return? If I go by the Bobby Wynette standard, it could be an entire season!

 

Season 4 Episode 10: Mandingo

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Maggie has scored a weekend at her boss’s house in Martha’s Vineyard and the whole family is abuzz with excitement. Okay, mostly Jason is excited because it’s free and Mike is excited because the new nanny, Julie, is going. Jason is immediately suspicious as to why Mike would want to join a family weekend getaway, but it’s not like you can uninvite your son just because he’s hot for the nanny, right?

You’d think that Jason would want to keep tabs on Mike and Julie the entire weekend, but instead he opts to let Mike and Julie head out to the vineyard ahead of the rest of the family (who are still packing) and with the baby in tow. What? Jason went from 0 trust in Mike to maximum trust in about 2.2 seconds and it makes no sense.

I’m sure things would’ve worked out fine had it not been for Jason displaying uncharacteristically stereotypical man behaviour: refusing to use a map to get to Martha’s Vineyard. The rest of the family gets lost, misses the turnoff and are so late getting to the ferry terminal that they miss the last sailing.  Just like that, Mike and Julie are stuck in the house on Martha’s Vineyward. With the baby. Unsupervised.

Maggie is not impressed with Jason. Jason realizes he needs to make sure Mike knows to keep his mind…and hands!…off of Julie until they can take the morning ferry over. I think we all know that Jason’s warning will be largely in vain because it’s Mike we’re talking about here.

Back in Martha’s Vineyard, and for reasons that aren’t at all clear, Mike and Julie are setting up sleeping bags to sleep on the living room floor instead of making use of what I assume are multiple bedrooms. Maybe it’s to be close to the baby, or maybe it’s just the only way the rest of the plot can unfold the way the writers want it to. I’d put money on the latter. Regardless, Mike is super pumped to have a night alone with Julie, until she asks him not to hit on her. There goes Mike’s only plan for the evening.

Mike can see he needs to take a more subtle approach to hitting on Julie, because heaven forbid that he actually just not.  Julie is too smart for this, though. She is a Columbia-educated psychology major, after all. She calls Mike out on his childish behaviour, even going so far as to call him a kid even though Mike is only one year younger than her. Like seriously, at any age, a one-year age difference is virtually meaningless isn’t it?

Anyway, even though Julie thinks of Mike as a kid, she also thinks he’s cute, but also wants him to know that she wants a man of substance and she does not think of Mike as a man of substance. The thing is, once Mike thinks he doesn’t have a chance with Julie, he starts to actually act like a normal person. He stops trying to be ‘the man’, starts asking Julie about herself and actually listens to her answers. He’s being the person of substance that he’s always been but usually hides under the guise of being a lady’s man. Anyway, now that Mike is showing his true colours, Julie has that glint in her eye that clearly says her tune about Mike is changing. For all the Mike-like guys out there, let this be a lesson to you: ladies are rarely into false male bravado.

Now that Julie has seen Mike’s substance, things escalate quickly. They kiss. Then Julie freaks out, first because she’s a year older than Mike (which still makes no sense as cause for concern), and then because she works for Mike’s parents (which is definitely a more legitimate concern). What will they do? How will they sort this all out?

We won’t find out today, because Jason and the rest of the Seavers have shown up. Oh, but there is much more Mike and Julie fun to come!

At the end of this episode, here are some fun facts:

  • If the Martha’s Vineyard ferry operator looked familiar, it’s because you’ve already seen him as the Dewey High School janitor, and as Buzz the repairman way back in season one. So either he’s moonlighting from one of these other two jobs or the hardest-working man in Long Island. Or, you know, he’s just one of the many recycled guest stars we get to see on Growing Pains. Yup, it’s definitely the last one.
  • The episode title is Mandingo, which I thought would connect to the episode content in some way but when I looked it up here’s the definition: ” 1 : a member of a people of western Africa in or near the upper Niger valley. 2 : the language of the Mandingo.” What? How does this connect? So I dug a little deeper and wish I hadn’t because there’s also an urban dictionary definition that I won’t quote as written, but basically means a man with large genitalia. And although I can’t believe that a PG-13 family show would refer to such a shocking definition, it’s clearly the more related of the two definitions, so…

Season 4 Episode 9: The Nanny

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It’s Maggie’s first day back at work since having the baby, and she’s barely holding it together. Never fear, Maggie, because Jason’s created an impossibly sophisticated, colour-coded baby-board to ensure that Chrissie is well taken care of during this transition.  Everyone’s got their role and every minute of the day is accounted for. How could this airtight plan possibly go wrong?

It takes mere minutes for us to see the first signs of a flawed plan, because apparently Jason is taking care of Chrissie during the bulk of each work day, which would be fine except he also works and I imagine his patients wouldn’t much appreciate being interrupted by a crying baby.  And then also, he’s relied heavily on his kids to stick to a rigid schedule, but of course none of them show up at their assigned time. It’s all starting to fall apart.

The real straw that broke the camel’s back is when Jason discovers Stinky Sullivan taking care of Chrissie. And by “taking care” of Chrissie, I mean he’s breast-feeding her with some sort of weird contraption designed to allow men to experience some facsimile of breastfeeding. If you can’t picture it, it’s an 80s version of this:

In the end, Jason realizes his colour-coded board is woefully insufficient. It’s time to talk nanny. Maggie puts Jason in charge of finding a nanny stat. He delivers in a big way, finding Julie in (I think) a single day, which is both amazing and mildly terrifying all at the same time. Maggie is not so thrilled with this bubbly blond who is altogether too Maggie-like, only a younger version. In other words, Maggie is jealous. The worst part is she wants Jason to fire Julie, even though she knows that she’s just reacting out of jealousy. That’s cold.

Jason knows that Maggie will love Julie if she just gets to know her, so he works his psychiatric magic yet again. They can fire Julie, but Maggie has to be the one to do it. I see what you’re doing, Jason.  And of course he’s right, because the second Maggie starts talking to Julie she can see that she’s perfectly qualified, that they actually have a ton in common, and damn it all if the girl can’t also make a mean souffle. I mean, you do not fire someone who can whip up a weeknight souffle, Maggie. That alone is worth a million bucks.

Just like that, we have a new cast member, because **spoiler alert** Julie’s about to become a regular fixture around these parts. And with it she’s going to bring all sorts of behind-the-scenes Growing Pains controversy. Buckle up! It’s gonna be a wild ride!

Season 4 Episode 8: Ben’s First Kiss

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Oh man, few things make me want to watch an episode less than an opening scene featuring three puberty-ridden boys creepily checking out girls and essentially rating their hotness.  Alas, this is how we start this episode. Ben, Stinky and Vito are suddenly girl crazy and Ben’s primary target is Judy Jones. Judy is a ginger and, as  a fellow ginger, I commend Ben on his good taste. Judy is also ballsy, because she has the guts to run her hands through Ben’s hair, all at the age of 12. That girl should bottle and sell that level of confidence!

Anyway, Ben is hot for Judy Jones and he’s fairly certain that her hair frisking means she’s hot for him too, but he’s twelve so he really doesn’t even understand what it means to be hot for someone. It’s worth noting that Jason is rocking a serious Mr. Rogers’ vibe in the scene, complete with a seafoam blue cardigan.  Jason also takes about a million steps forward and starts talking to Ben about the birds and the bees, which is not at all what Ben wanted advice about. So he leaves Jason’s office both mortified and also just as unclear about his Judy Jones predicament as when he started. Enter Mike.

Mike’s big advice is to ask Judy out, which it seems like Ben could’ve come up with on his own. So Ben asks Judy out and she says no, but only because she’s not allowed to date for another two years. She then adds “but if someone were, like, having a party, I could meet you there…”.  Judy is hella forward for a 12 year old girl, not to mention crafty. Because she gets Ben to throw a party that very night (hello ambition) and claim it’s for his birthday (which it’s not). And you know Maggie and Jason aren’t going to go for this at all, so he’s got himself in a real jam.

It’s that last part that leads Ben right back to Mike. Who else could possibly help him throw together a party in mere hours and somehow get his parents out of the house? Mike is giddy that Ben’s got himself into such a pickle, but it’s also totally his wheelhouse so of course he agrees to help. Mike is also smart enough to know that they will need more brainpower to make this happen, which is how Carol comes to be a part of this plan. Now, normally Carol is not down for breaking the rules, but apparently she will do anything to support young love. Just like that, Ben’s got a birthday party in the making.

The first step is getting Maggie and Jason out of the house, which turns out to be as easy as dangling a free meal in front of Jason because Jason is a notorious cheapskate. Unfortunately, this part of the plan also involves Mike pretending to be an Indian restauranteur with a really offensive accent to boot. Sometimes I forget just how different a time the 80s were, although to be fair the Simpsons only just starting taking flak for Abu, so maybe times haven’t changed all that much. Anyway, Mike’s fake accent works and Jason is sold on a free night out with Maggie.

With Maggie and Jason out of the house, it’s time to get this party started. Ben and Judy are having a great time so far. Judy’s even had three pieces of cake, and has the confidence not to care whether that’s considered lady-like. She’s a girl after my own heart. And just when Judy is about to give Ben his birthday “present” (a kiss), Carol interrupts with game time. Come on, Carol!

I’m sure Ben will get another chance, or will he? Because Jason is just about to find out that his “free dinner” is only free up to $40.  This raises a red flag, and he quickly puts two and two together and realizes he’s been duped by his own kids. They hightail it home and interrupt the party just as Ben was about to get his second chance at his first kiss. Bad timing abounds in this episode!

Ben’s party is over, and Ben’s about to get in serious trouble but all hope is not lost. Judy is amazed that Ben would do all of this just so to spend time with her, so much so that she goes in for a kiss that remarkably does not get interrupted by anyone.  Ben finally gets his first kiss, and has completely forgotten about the very real probability that he is going to be grounded for life.  Such is the power of young love.

Also, this is by far the best Ben-centric episode. Let this be a sign of things to come.

At the end of this episode I’m left wondering:

  • Why didn’t they just throw the party in Mike’s apartment? It seems it would have been way easier to hide, and to set up/clean up…
  • Is Judy Jones the most confident 12 year old girl on the planet? Answer: yes.

Season 4 Episode 7: Nude Photos

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Whoa! Nudity right in the episode title. Is this still a family television show?!?!

Boner interrupts Seaver family dinner and it’s very clear whatever he’s talking to Mike about is something Mike doesn’t want the rest of the family to know. That’s because it involves nudity, but it’s nudity within the context of college courses so how bad can it be?

Because it involves Mike, Maggie and Jason assume it’s got to be pretty bad, so they force him to admit that he’s taken part in a nude photo assignment for which he’s actually won an award. You’d think Maggie and Jason would just be happy that Mike was recognized for something, even though it’s just an honorable mention, but of course they’re still convinced that Mike has somehow done something ultra sleazy. They want to know what type of nudity Mike is talking about and exactly how he came to be involved in it.

Stat.

So our episode is actually Mike explaining the whole backstory to the nude photography award. Except that he’s spewing out some long-winded line of bogus to his parents, and we as viewers are getting the real story as relayed inside Mike’s thoughts.

The real story is that he and Boner picked photography class because it met two of their main course criteria: it was mid-afternoon and it had no papers. Also, the course catalog said said the final assignment was a “nude study”. Mike and Boner imagine themselves getting to take nude pictures of hot girls and they’re sold. Let’s just ignore the fact that no course catalog in its right mind would publish that as it would be a surefire invitation for all manner of creepy dudes wanting to see naked girls…sort of like Mike and Boner.

Anyway, they suffer through an entire term of photography history and technique just to get to their final assignment.  I suspect it’s the most enthusiasm that Mike’s shown for any assignment ever, and he’s barely able to contain his excitement when his photography subject shows up and asks if she should just strip down right then and there.

Of course, nothing is as easy as it seems. Mike soon learns that CJ, his photography subject, has never been a nude model, she’s nervous and she’s only doing it for the money (which, I might add, is a measly $20). And as she starts to undress, Mike sort of starts to panic because for all his talk he’s clearly never stood face to face with a totally naked woman. So Mike starts stalling, first by giving CJ a robe to wear and then by engaging her in lengthy and unnecessary conversation. It’s through this unnecessary conversation that CJ inadvertently triggers Mike’s conscience.

She does this by saying she’s envious that Mike knows what he wants to do with his life (which he, of course, does not), that he’d never understand someone like her who just wants to party (which, of course, he totally does), and that her mom would warn her against modelling nude because she’d surely end up stripping down for a total creeper (which Mike was about to be). The real kicker: CJ stands for Carol Jean, and having the same name as his sister proves to be way too much for Mike. He can’t go through with taking naked pictures of CJ, which at least means she dodged the bullet of being ogled by someone who doesn’t care at all about photography.

Now Mike has a bigger problem, which is that he’s going to fail his photography class if he doesn’t submit a nude assignment. He seems terribly concerned about this, which is inconsistent with a character that has never cared about his grades in the slightest, but whatever. His only hope is to take naked photos of himself, which completely explains why he didn’t want his parents to know about the assignment or the award. No one’s family needs to see them naked beyond their toddler years.

But remember that this whole backstory is happening only inside Mike’s head and he’s been feeding his parents nothing but lies, so they decide they’re going to take the whole damn family to the photography exhibit.  I feel like this whole drama could have been avoided if Mike had just said the assignment was to take a nude photo of himself, but then we would have no episode. Instead, the whole family goes down to the photo exhibit and proceeds to stare for way too long at Mike’s nude photo. And I mean the whole family. Including Carol and Ben, and seriously why are they looking at all? 

This is all beside point because the real story here is that Mike learned that women aren’t just sex objects, and that’s a worthy lesson to learn.

At the end of this episode, I’m left wondering:

  • Could this type of assignment even remotely exist in today’s climate? I think not.
  • What kind of course catalog would actually outline that a nude assignment was part of the mix? My course catalogs were certainly never that detailed.
  • Why were Mike’s siblings even willing to look at photographs of their brother naked????
  • How hard up for cash would you have to be to model naked for a crappy $20? If you’re lucky, that would buy a college student groceries for a week…and only if those groceries mostly consisted of ramen noodles.

 

Season 4 Episode 6: Homecoming Queen

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We are back at Dewey High, and Principal Dewitt is appearing within the first minute. In other words, we are off to a good start!

It’s Homecoming time and Principal Dewitt is announcing the candidates for homecoming king and queen. As we might expect, Carol is down on the whole idea of homecoming queens and kings because ‘people of substance’ are never nominated. And then she hears her name. Will she remain steadfast in her opinion that these accolades are bogus? Let’s find out!

Carol’s nomination turns out to be a real trigger for her.  She’s in a total state of disbelief because she hasn’t yet forgotten her glasses-bearing, overalls-wearing former self (i.e. the Carol of season 1). Also, she seems oddly fearful that her parents will be disappointed in her homecoming queen nomination because they’ll think it’s a sign that Carol’s no longer a person of substance.

Naturally, Carol’s worries are for nothing, because what kind of parent would be disappointed in their child for being nominated for homecoming queen? I mean, Carol’s still Carol and that means she’s still smart. So what if she’s also popular? Calm down, Carol. Sadly, Maggie and Jason’s assurances are for naught, because Carol still cannot reconcile the idea that a person can be smart, pretty and popular. In fact, even her dreams are haunted by visions of her past self, when she was nothing but a nerd but at least knew where she stood in the social order. There’s comfort in holding onto our old identity sometimes, even when we’ve outgrown it.

After a restless night and much soul-searching, Carol has decided her only option is to respectfully decline her nomination. But when all the other nominees hear Carol’s plans, they think Carol’s just trying to get sympathy votes so they all decide to ‘respectfully decline’ their nominations too. Before you know it Carol’s almost ruined the entire homecoming queen tradition, and let me assure you that Principal Dewitt is not impressed. I’m fairly certain that Principal Dewitt actually refused to let any of them decline their nominations, which probably isn’t something within his control, but such is life on television.

Back at home, Carol tells Maggie if she can’t withdraw her nomination, she’s just not going to show up at the dance. Maggie wants to know why Carol is so vehemently opposed to the whole homecoming queen concept, and she lays out her theory for Carol: she thinks that Carol’s just afraid that the other girls are better than her. Maggie’s clearly right, but she’s also forgotten that most teenagers don’t want to be called out on the true roots of their behaviour so Maggie’s tactic yields zero results.

Jason takes a slightly less confrontational approach than Maggie. He goes with a solid heart to heart, one which involves bringing Carol a giant wedge of cake as a “snack”.  Jason just won some serious brownie points in my mind because a giant wedge of cake is pretty much my dream in any given moment. Anyway, as much as I’d like the cake to be the main point here, it’s not. The point here is Jason’s trying to help Carol see that she’s evolved beyond the person she used to be (a one-dimensional nerd) into a more well-rounded person. Sadly, even Jason’s gentle approach (and cake) don’t quite do the trick.

In the end, it’s Mike who helps Carol accept the person she’s become, much like he saved the day in the infamous nose job episode. When even Mike can’t deny that Carol is popular and smart, Carol knows it must be true because Mike would do almost anything to put her down.  So now Carol sees that she is popular…and still smart, and maybe it’s actually possible to be both.

With that epiphany fresh in her mind, Carol decides she’ll go to the homecoming dance after all, and even though she doesn’t win homecoming queen, she has a lovely experience. More importantly, she accepts herself as a complex and multi-faceted person. Honestly, that’s a lesson that most of us would love to have learned at the tender age of 18, isn’t it?

Season 4 Episode 5: Guess Who’s Coming for Dinner

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Oh man, you’re in for a treat today. This is one of my favourite Growing Pains episodes, although my reasons for loving it are mostly related to one rather inconsequential scene that I will outline in far more detail than you’ll appreciate. I cannot fully explain why I love this scene so much, but I do. And also, I love Jason’s mother with all my heart. Enough preamble. Here we go!

Jason’s mother, Irma, is making her first appearance on the show. Recently widowed, she’s just come home from a cruise, and Jason is certain the cruise was too much too soon. This doesn’t make a lot of sense since Jason is the one who booked her on the cruise. However, since he sent her out to sea he’s somehow convinced himself that it was a terrible mistake, and that his mother had a miserable time. But then Irma comes waltzing off the ship with a sassy new hairdo and electrically lit up smile. Anyone can tell she’s legitimately on cloud nine, except Jason, who is convinced that she’s merely putting on a game face.

As Jason is grabbing her luggage, Irma reveals to Maggie what’s got her so damn happy. Not only has she met a man, but she’s met her future husband. If you think Maggie is shocked, just wait ‘til Jason finds out. Of course, Irma’s not going to share this news with him right away. She’s dropped a bomb on Maggie, then sworn her to secrecy until she can find a better time to tell Jason. Maggie is dying of curiosity, but all of us have to wait to find out more about this mystery man.

Once Irma arrives at the old Seaver homestead, Maggie’s trying desperately to get her alone in another room to find out more about her new man. Irma wants nothing more than to give out souvenirs. Ben gets a larger-than-life sombrero, Carol gets a Carmen Miranda fruit hat, and Mike gets a poncho which is also what provides me with one of my favourite Growing Pains scenes.

**This is where I will take a brief aside from the episode itself and describe to you one of my favourite Growing Pains moments, which will likely not seem special to you at all. Once again, I cannot explain why I love this scene so much.  Irma has brought Mike a poncho, and then proceeds to hold it out for him toreodor -style, so he can charge through the head opening like a bull and then do a little dance with a half-assed “ole!” . I tried desperately to find a short video clip to share, but you will have to settle for grainy screenshots of the scene as it unfolded on my computer screen:

See Irma hold out the poncho toreodor-style
See Mike charge the poncho like a bull
See Mike do a little Mariachi-style dance

This is amazing to me for reasons I cannot articulate. Thank you for indulging me this moment, and now we can resume our regular episode recap.

Maggie finally drags Irma off to another room, and Irma shares how she really didn’t want to go on the cruise at all, how at first being surrounded by couples in love made her feel even more alone. But then she met Whalley. Within mere weeks they decided if they could share a cabin on the cruise ship, they could share a home. All I can say is, go Irma!

Irma, of course, is anxious about telling Jason because he loved his father so much, and she expects he’s not at all ready to hear about a new romance.  Also, according to Irma, Dr. Jason Seaver has a track record of not expressing his true feelings, which is counter to what we see on the show all the time and also counter to what we’d expect from any psychiatrist. She’s not wrong, though, because Jason doesn’t take the news well, and Irma hasn’t even told him yet that she and Whalley plan to be married.

Instead of voicing his concerns in a healthy way, Jason forces a family dinner with Irma’s new beau that night, which is way too soon, and generally uncomfortable for everyone, especially when Jason opens the front door to find his mom making out with Whalley. Awkward. This is where we start to see what Irma was talking about with Jason’s inability to productively express his feelings. He’s taking passive aggression to new levels even though everyone else seems to genuinely like Whalley. Thankfully,  Whalley is a man who can hold his own, and he’s taking none of Jason’s shit.  And neither is Irma.

Irma’s got to do some serious damage control at this point, before Jason ruins any chance of having a good relationship with Whalley. She pulls Jason into the kitchen, where he goes on and on about how he thinks she’s actually miserable, that she’s picked a man with whom her relationship is doomed to fail so she can retreat into a life of solitude. I get that there are people who self-sabotage relationships, but Jason’s line of reasoning seems so illogical that it’s hard to imagine he can’t see the real truth behind his feelings. He is a psychiatrist, after all.

Irma is not one to back down nor put up with Jason’s antics.  Even if Jason is upset for good reasons, she’s not going to let him act like a jerk towards Whalley. Like most moms, Irma gets through to her son in about 2.2 seconds. He quickly realizes that he’s reacting to the death of his father, of not being ready to let go or have someone else step into his dad’s place. They have a good heart to heart, and Jason comes to terms with Irma’s impending wedding. Once again, go Irma!

Honestly, I love Irma and I will take an Irma storyline over a Ben storyline any day.

At the end of this episode I’m left wondering:

  • Would Jason really be so blind to the true roots of his behaviours?
  • Is Irma one of the sassiest and best television moms ever? (answer: yes)

Season 4 Episode 4: Family Ties Part II

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Today we pick up where we left off yesterday. Mike has moved out. Maggie misses him even though it’s only been 7 hours. Jason is optimistic that Mike will suddenly become responsible. Carol is thrilled Mike is out of the house. Mike is thrilled to have his own place. All is good. Right? Wrong.

Rent is due today and Mike somehow couldn’t even scrounge up $50. In fact, he’s thirty bucks short! I was never rolling in cash as a teenager, but I’m fairly certain I could’ve handled $50. He borrows the rest from his mom, but it doesn’t take long for Jason to figure that out, and also catch Mike in the act of splicing into their cable. This is not what Jason had in mind when he struck the rental agreement with Mike.

Jason is about to give Mike a really good talking to, but then Mike says he has class in an hour and Jason is so thrilled to hear that he’s going to class that he is rendered speechless. Apparently all it takes is the prospect of Mike attending class to restore Jason’s faith in Mike’s maturity, although if you ask me Mike’s just learned a pretty great strategy for getting out of trouble…and for getting out of paying his rent.

Maggie agrees and this is the second time in two episodes that I’ve been on team Maggie and I don’t even know what to do about it.

It doesn’t take long for the rollercoaster of Jason’s trust in Mike to take another downward tumble. Shortly after Mike says he’s going to class, Jason hears the TV in Mike’s new apartment and thinks Mike’s lied to him about class. He vents to Maggie, who wants to do the normal thing, which is to just talk to Mike about it like an adult. But Jason is too angry, so he opts to use hedge clippers to cut off cable to Mike’s apartment.  He’s quite satisfied with himself, until Boner is the one to come out of Mike’s apartment.  It turns out Mike is attending his class.  For a second, Jason feels badly for doubting Mike, but then when Boner blows the news that he’s hanging around because Mike’s ordered a water bed, all hell’s about to break loose. Because a waterbed surely costs a lot more than the rent that Mike wasn’t able to pay just that morning.

When Mike comes home, Jason calls him out on being frivolous with his money and continuing to make light of adult responsibilities. Mike claims that Jason’s been more of an overbearing father than when he lived in the same house. They both get increasingly more riled up, and then Mike makes the mistake of saying he wishes he could just be Jason’s tenant instead of his son.  Ouch. Quite irrationally, Jason latches on to this terrible idea, despite Maggie’s protests. I have to say, once again I’m on team Maggie, but Jason is in his own little world of bitter disappointment and cannot be talked out of severing his family ties with Mike. From this point forward, Jason is going to treat him as a tenant and nothing more. This is a classic sitcom storyline that always ends poorly.

As a newly minted landlord-not-dad, Jason’s first step in teaching Mike what life would be like without his family is cutting off Mike’s water mid-way through filling up his waterbed. No rent. No water. Then he stages a father-son basketball game with Ben right outside Mike’s window to make Mike jealous. But even Jason doesn’t feel good about that move, and neither does Mike. It turns out the Seavers like each other too much to treat each other like garbage.

Maggie sees that Jason and Mike are suffering, and she’s going to make sure they both know they’re being totally ridiculous. She stages a family dinner, getting Mike to join by telling him that Jason specifically invited him.  But when Jason runs into Mike in the driveway, Maggie’s attempt at trickery blows up within seconds because Jason makes it very clear that he did not invite Mike.  Once again, Maggie is the one who has to rescue this situation.  I don’t know if I can get used to Maggie fixing things instead of Jason.

Maggie lays down the law with Mike and Jason: they’re both being jerks, and they both need to get over themselves and act like a family, because like it or not they are a family. Within minutes, Mike and Jason are making up…including repairing Mike’s cable line into his new apartment, because we all know the foundation of a strong family is functioning cable.

At the end of this episode, I’m left wondering:

  • How can Jason’s trust of Mike be so fickle?
  • If you’ve been wondering ‘where is the new Seaver baby?’, here’s your update: Maggie has spent the the last two episodes carrying around “the baby” which is either a doll wrapped in a blanket or perhaps just a bundled blanket, which creates the impression that the Seaver’s newest addition is the quietest and most well-behaved newborn ever to have lived.

Season 4 Episode 3: Family Ties Part I

On By InMyBackyardIn Season 41 Comment

Lest we’ve all forgotten, Mike is now a junior college man, and he’s taking full advantage of his young adulthood, staying out ’til all hours of the night.  Like right now it’s 3 AM and Mike’s not home yet and Maggie wants to call the police, but thankfully Jason is there to remind her that the Long Island police do not exist to check in on her children.

When Mike finally waltzes through the door he has a perfectly good explanation for being out so late: he was skiing in Lake Placid, which would be fine if it weren’t 200 miles away. Jason knows Mike’s class schedule and points out there’s no way Mike could have attended his classes and managed a ski trip to Lake Placid. You’re quite right, Jason, and that’s because Mike dropped that class ages ago.  As a sociology major, that’s like a knife through my heart.

The conversation goes downhill quickly when Mike goes on to reveal Sociology isn’t the only class that he’s dropped, and that he thinks that now that he’s in college he doesn’t have to answer to his parents about anything at all. Uh oh, I sense the “as long as you live under this roof, you’ll abide by our rules” line coming any minute now. And sure enough, I’m right! Jason lays down the law, and Mike says maybe he won’t live under this roof  then…but Mike also realizes that it’s 3am and he has nowhere to go, so he’ll wait until tomorrow to live under another roof, thankyouverymuch.

So the next day, Mike packs his bags and prepares to hit the road. Ben is freaking out because Mike is his only real ally at home, but Mike assures him that this is all part of a master plan: he’s going to sleep in his car until Maggie (the softie of his two parents) feels so sympathetic that she then convinces Jason not only to welcome him home with open arms but also to loosen up a little bit with all the rules. Jason’s already onto Mike though. I mean, Jason’s been dealing with Mike’s manipulative ways for 18 years, so he knows when it’s time to call him on his bluff. And call Mike on his bluff is exactly what Jason does. A Seaver standoff is imminent.

So Mike leaves the Seaver household for his new home, which is his car, which he also plans to leave parked in the Seaver driveway. So like, honestly Mike, this doesn’t really seem like much of a plan. But I suppose his only real plan is to garner sympathy, and that he does because Maggie does not like the thought of her son outside in the cold and snow. Jason, however, is practically giddy at the opportunity for Mike to learn a lesson about how good he actually has it at home.

So far, this is the saddest standoff ever.

Especially when Maggie can’t help herself and tips Mike off to a space heater in the storage room above the garage when Mike’s only been outside for a few hours. Come on, Maggie, they call it tough love for a reason.  This is exactly what Jason says when he sees that she’s already caving to Mike, but Maggie is unapologetic, because she thinks Jason’s whole approach to dealing with the Mike issue has been nothing but childish. This may be the first time I agree with Maggie.

Maggie may have gotten to Jason a little bit, though, because shortly after she puts her foot down, he also goes outside to check on Mike.  So he’s obviously feeling a bit badly for Mike, too, until he sees that Mike has quite the little set up going in the storage room above the garage. There’s a space heater and television and also a pizza delivery. That’s a pretty plush life, and also…do the Seavers pay for cable in their garage?!?!  When Jason sees that Mike really hasn’t moved out at all, nor does he appear to be learning any lesson whatsoever, Jason loses any sympathetic feelings and gets riled up all over again.

Mike and Jason have it out in the living room. Jason is mad because Mike is frittering away his college education and waltzing in and out of the house whenever he pleases. Mike is tired of living by the same rules he’s lived by since he was kid even though he’s now an adult. Maggie steps in to be a referee between the two, helping Jason and Mike see that they both need to be a little more flexible. Mike agrees maybe he should take his education a bit more seriously. Jason agrees maybe he can lighten up on all the rules. They still can’t seem to get to a place of any real solutions to living arrangements, though. It seems they’re at a stalemate until Jason makes the mistake of saying that if Mike were a tenant and not their son, then he could do whatever he wanted.

That’s like music to Mike’s ears. He sees his out: he’ll just pay his parents rent and then they’ll leave him alone. Jason also seems to think this is a viable option. Maggie thinks it’s preposterous, but she can also see there’s no stopping this train now that it’s in motion. In no short order, Mike Seaver becomes tenant at large, agreeing to pay $50 a month to officially move into the storage room above the garage, which is just far enough outside the main house that he’ll have total freedom.

Is this new tenant-landlord relationship destined to fail? We’ll find out tomorrow because we’ve got ourselves another two-parter!

At the end of this episode I’m left wondering:

  • Did Mike go skiing in a collared shirt and dress pants and without a coat? Because when he arrived home from his “skiing” day, that’s exactly what he was wearing…
  • Even in the 80s, isn’t $50 a month way too low a rent to actually teach someone responsibility? Also, for that price, can I move into the Seaver’s garage?!?!

Season 4 Episode 2: Birth of a Seaver

On By InMyBackyardIn Season 4Leave a comment

Well, I think the episode title alone is a bit of a spoiler, but here we go anyway!

It’s Ben’s birthday and he has quite possibly the best birthday cake I’ve ever seen: a giant lifelike hamburger cake. And part of Ben’s birthday agreement seems to be not talking about the new baby, but that’s hard to do when Maggie is two weeks overdue and her baby bump is bursting at the seams. Ben’s birthday is being taken over and he is so not impressed with his soon-to-be sibling.

That’s unfortunate, because it seems there’s a chance he’ll have to share his birthday with his new brother or sister since Maggie starts going into labour. Here we go! The Growing Pains landscape is about to change in a big way.

Even though Maggie is apparently going into labour, the whole Seaver family (minus Ben) is hanging out in the living room? I’m not sure what they’re waiting for, but Mike is making his mom a cup of tea so it seems there’s zero urgency to this labour. Also, they all seem to have forgotten that Ben’s just hanging out in the kitchen staring at his cake like the sad sack that he is.  They also almost forget to take Ben to the hospital with them. Worst. Birthday. Ever.

At the hospital, they’re all getting briefed on protocol for the birthing room, which is the room in which all of them are going to watch Maggie give birth. Yes, the entire Seaver family. This makes perfect sense for the Seaver family, but I cannot see this being something any other family would want. I mean, the miracle of life is great and all but who really wants to watch their mom give birth?

Ben is still trapped in his downward spiral of self-pity, so he’s taken off wandering the halls of the hospital aimlessly, feeling like the forgotten child. He sort of is, because Maggie and Jason have bigger fish to fry right now, and Mike and Carol give up pretty quickly on trying to locate him.

That’s fine. Ben’s made himself a new friend. As he trolls the hospital halls, Ben befriends an older patient by helping him pick up a cigar that he plans to smoke…in the hospital. Only in the 80s, I guess? Anyway, they strike up a conversation and Ben ends up venting about how his whole family forgot about him on his birthday no less.  Ben’s new friend, Chris, tries to help help him get over himself by reminding him how great it is to be an older brother.  Ben’s still not buying that load of garbage, so instead he and Chris just play cards and tell dirty jokes. Ben thinks he’s made a new bestie, but then there’s this ultra-dark moment when it becomes very clear that Chris is never leaving the hospital. Growing Pains really is at peace with integrating death into its storylines. Yikes.

Just as Ben realizes he will never see Chris again, Carol and Mike finally find him and take him back to the birthing suite in the nick of time. Maggie’s already popped out the baby, which at least means the kids missed all the gory parts and can just capitalize on newborn baby snuggles with their new sister. All it takes is one second holding an angelic little baby, and Ben is sold on the awesomeness of being a big brother.  It’s a pretty sweet birthday present, especially since his sister was not actually born on Ben’s birthday but a solid three minutes into a fresh new day. Also, Ben gets the honour of naming his sister, and opts to honour his new friend Chris. Growing Pains fans, meet Chrissie Seaver.

And thank god Ben got to name her, because Maggie and Jason wanted to call her Irma. Good grief.

At the end of this episode, I’m left wondering:

  • Where can I find myself that giant hamburger cake, stat?
  • How will a new character transform Growing Pains this season?
  • Why would anyone want to watch their mother give birth?