In a nutshell

If I could summarize season 3 in one word it would be: long. Most shows tend to hover around 22 episodes per season, and Growing Pains Season 3 clocked in at a whopping 26. Perhaps not coincidentally, there were at least four episodes that offered nothing to ongoing storylines, which leads me to conclude that Growing Pains should have considered sticking to industry standards.

What we Learned This Season

• Jason is not perfect. This season, he definitely had a couple questionable methods for getting through to various members of his family.
• Swept Away is one of the worst songs from the 80s. I never need to hear this song again. Ever.
• The Seavers are going to welcome a new addition to their family next season, but little time was devoted to this during Season 3.
• Mike found his true love: acting. Carol said goodbye to her little-seen and little-discussed boyfriend of over one season. Ben still had nothing going on.

Best Episodes

• Episode 7 A Star is Born: Mike signs up for a school play just to get close to a girl, but along the way he finds his calling. Although he didn’t at all take acting seriously at first, once he put his mind to it, he was actually good at it and also discovered that effort can lead to a good outcome.
• Episode 9 Who’s Zooming Who?: I mean, seeing Brad Pitt pre-fame is pretty awesome. His acting has clearly evolved since the mid-80s. Also, watching Carol cope poorly with boy drama was highly entertaining.
• A Tie! Episode 15 The Marrying Kind & Episode 13 Reason to Live: I’m absolutely cheating by highlighting two episodes, and I do not care. Also, these two episodes could not be more different. In The Marrying Kind we get Carol and Bobby deciding to elope at the tender age of 17, only to realize that their goals for the future are already diverging. Not only do they not get married but they also break up and we (sadly) say goodbye to Bobby’s character forever.  In Reason to Live, Growing Pains does its best to tackle the incredibly difficult subject of teenage depression and suicide. It’s obviously darker, but admirable that they were willing to go there.

Worst Episodes

• Episode 19/20 Dance Fever Parts I & II: There are few things worse than a two-parter with no real point, and this was an insufferable example of that. Did I need close to fifty minutes of Carol and Boner deciding if they should dance together and Maggie and Jason fighting over who was a better DJ? No, I did not.
• Episode 22 The Obscure Objects of our Desire Part I: If you want to know what’s worse than a two-parter with no real point, it’s a two parter with no real point that is also a flashback episode. Featuring flashbacks that show almost entire past episodes. This was torture. Torture that I admittedly skipped through.
• Episode 23 The Obscure Objects of our Desire Part II: What can I even say about this? Nothing. More painfully long flashbacks that I didn’t need to see. Come on, Growing Pains, you can do better.

Now we boldly step into Season 4, Growing Pains’ middle aged period, if you will. I can hardly wait to see what we encounter next.