Yesterday, I somehow failed to notice that this was a dreaded two-parter, even more dreaded because it’s a two-part flashback episode. That is the worst kind of a two-parter and I am not excited.

In case you missed it, yesterday the Seaver kids were setting up for a garage sale and their throwaway items started talking to each other and sharing their pasts in a series of flashbacks.

Today we get two prolonged flashbacks (that I don’t want to relive) that feature:

• Mike’s WOB (world of burgers) hat from the episode in which he was summarily fired for covering for his coworker when a measly $37 was stolen from the till. Sadly, I didn’t have to look up that amount because it is etched in my memory with all the other useless details from classic sitcoms. And I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that this flashback legit takes up half the entire episode. Half. Twelve and a half minutes, to be precise, which is barely shorter than the original episode.
• A copy of Romeo and Juliet, which was featured in the episode where Carol was roped into tutoring Bobby Wynette, which kick-started their barely-featured-on-the-show romance. Now, as a lover/hoarder of books, I have to say that I find it unlikely that Carol would toss a copy of any book, let alone a classic like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I held onto required reading from school until my late 30s. Maybe that’s abnormal, but I think we can all agree Carol is, at times, also a bit abnormal.

In the end, the kids decide they cannot cope with letting go of their old stuff, and they’re onto the fact that Jason really just wanted them to clear out the basement. But then Jason picks up the ashtray Ben made him, and he gets all sentimental and understands why the kids don’t want to part with their things.

At the end of this episode I’m left wondering:

• What was the point of this episode?