Welcome to Season 2! Are you excited? I am. Season two has got to hold more potential for quality episodes than season one, right? Tell me I’m right. I need to know I’m right.  Sorry, that’s not a pretty colour on anyone. Let’s see what Growing Pains delivers in its second season premiere.

The Seavers are taking a trip down memory lane with some old family movies and eventually someone pops in a tape of Jason from his college days. And he’s in a band. Singing. With funny hair that the kids apparently can’t get over because they are losing their collective shit and collapsing in hysterical laughter. I am perplexed by this, because wouldn’t it earn Jason some cool points to have once been in a band?

Jason takes his kids’ reactions in stride, but what he cannot handle is the overwhelming feeling that he is getting old. Despite being only 40 years of age, somehow these videos have left Jason feeling about two steps from the grave. As a fellow 40 year-old, I want to grab Jason and shake him by the shoulders because, seriously, you’re only 40 for god’s sake.

Maggie has other plans to help Jason reconnect with his youth. Her first attempt involves begging Mike to play basketball with him and let him win. That doesn’t work, a) because Jason quickly figures it out and demands that Mike actually try and b) because when Mike does try, he kicks Jason’s butt. Despite 40 not being old, a 15-year old is still going to mop the basketball court with a 40 year-old’s ass most days.

Maggie’s got to pivot to Plan B, which involves throwing a surprise party for Jason featuring his former college band, the Wild Hots. Sidenote: of course Jason Seaver’s college band was called the Wild Hots. I have major doubts about this plan, because if a video of his old band has left him mopey, I don’t get how seeing them in person is going to be any better. But Maggie knows Jason best, and it’s soon apparent that her idea has some merit. When Jason learns that the band’s keyboardist had a coronary (!!!!) at the plucky age of 38 (!!!), and that the guitarist is now a “chrome dome”, he no longer feels as old.  I’m not sure this is a healthy way for someone to regain their sense of youth. Feeling better about ourselves by putting down others doesn’t seem like a very noble approach for anyone to take, let alone a psychiatrist.

I suppose what matters is that Jason no longer feels old, and we get to hear him perform with his band, which I have to admit is sort of disappointing. I feel like I saw clips of a young Alan Thicke singing with his real life band on the E True Hollywood Story of Growing Pains and he was much, much better than in this episode. Maybe the rest of the Wild Hots were bringing him down? All I know is this was a bit of a lacklustre start to Season 2 and I’m hoping that things pick up.

At the end of this episode I’m left wondering:

• Do you think Alan Thicke pitched this episode as a way of showcasing his musical background?
• At what point did season premier’s start to become a pretty big deal because it’s certainly not at this point in the 80s?
• Ben makes his first reference to his friend Stinky Sullivan in this episode. When do we actually get to meet Stinky?
• Related to the above point, why does Growing Pains give the Seaver’s friends names like Boner and Stinky? Are there really kids out there that must suffer with nicknames like this?